7/25/25

a couple of days ago i got a new haircut. i was hoping to cut it pretty short and get this shaggy, androgynous, and boyish sort of look, but it was cut in such a way where it looked more like a bob some middle aged lady would have. it was sort of terrifying, looking in the mirror and seeing someone different from who i was. i mean, it's not like i was a completely different person because of a haircut- it's just that i could see myself as something different, and it really freaked me out. i'm giving it time to grow more, and i'll figure out how to style it with curlers and creams and the like- but it was interesting, feeling such concentrated dysphoria. i've been lucky enough to not have to experience much of it, and i'm glad that i haven't had to. it's not fun. if you're trans i love you keep existing

anyways, lately i've been busying myself playing pokefarm and doing small arts and crafts projects, like making little paper stars. a friend of my mom gifted her some really nice matcha powder, as well as a chasen and bowl, and since my mom doesn't know how to use it, she said i could if i wanted to. we live a half an hour away from the cafe i always go to, so i decided to try my hand at making my own matcha latte while i was bored at home. it turned out amazing!! i'll include the recipe to it in my recipe page- once i actually uh make the page. it makes sense it turned out well, it's encoded on the brain chip you get installed when you sign up to be a nonbinary. can't believe i forgot about that.

something about video games makes me really sentimental in a way that almost nothing else does. i hope someday i'll be able to see a ut/dr orchestra preformance, and i know when i do that i will be SOBBING the entire way through. and i'm not much of a crier. but something about video games.. they make me cry so easily. specifically the soundtracks. i can't listen to kris playing 'sevenfour' without tearing up at least a little. i really really want to learn piano because of them. it's kind of ironic; the thing possessing kris and removing their agency outside of their one refuge, the piano, wants to take up piano themselves because they were so inspired. i wonder what kris would think. please dear god let me befriend them

sidenote i stumbled upon someone's animal jam shrine and almost shed a tear at how passionate they were about a game i loved so much. see????? sentimental!!!! im not usually like this!!!